monologue.Me
twitter: sharmimie_s
regrets and mistakes. occurred frequently without me inviting them. well i guess i still have you in my heart. placed in the tiniest, darkest hollow of my heart that no one would’ve thought i have even myself at this time of year. it has been more than 1000days now. why, i’m asking myself, wondering. who are you, what are you, what have you that made me to have this in my heart. or am i asking the wrong questions? should i ask myself? what do i want, why am i, do i still have unfinished business with you, or is it just plain love? i’ve been going on and off on whether should i or shouldn’t i confront this feeling that i have. seeing your face smiling made me smile like it did way back when. even though it’s just a tiny hole, i still sometimes feels the strongest feeling on you. i’ve been gaining my strength when this happens and successed but sometimes it haunts me back. but again, most of this happened when i’m on my lowest relationship wheel. so that made me think that you’ll appear only when i’m on my downside. still, the thought of you made me regret everything that has happened to us. i wish things were better since the beginning because i know that if it hadn’t happened, we’re still living our fairy tale together. i’m still deciding on whether not to reach you or vice versa because i don’t want to have this hole in me forever in my life wondering about you, us and my future because i’m counting my days to that big final event of my very life. i don’t want to have these thoughts when i’m finally living with life&death partner.
